Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Bitching a.k.a mengumpat

Hi, Hello, Assalamualaikum.... I know, i've been telling, mentioning, bagitau, habaq(apa lagi perkataan boleh guna?) hehe.. i've been telling you that i'd post up something a few weeks ago, but then i cooled of & decided not to. As some who are reading this right now would know that i've been facing "bitching" or orang melayu cakap mengumpat... haa.. I've got several friends or should i say frenemies? that have been going behind my back and talk shit about me, like come on right? we're not in secondary school anymore.. and some are even older than me, and some have even known me for years!!! of course i wanted to come out and tell everyone everything, but after careful thinking i decided not to. Why you'd ask? Just because by telling everyone who these people are and what they say and the truth behind their sneaky lies would make me exactly the stupid monsters they are. logically people who bitch behind your back are those who are insecure about themselves, I mean come on who would go around spreading rumours and hurtful comments just because I bought a pair of new boots or a new skirt? yes, they do. Even the news about me planning to get married this year became such a big issue, seriously? yes! I dont know what to do of this but I did let a few things out to my friend Iyna, she told me to just ignore them bitches and just zip my mouth and pretend that they dont exist and you know what,that is really true! A fire wont stop burning if we keep fueling it with what they want, so instead of fighting I just choose to keep quiet. Because at some point people will actually see that she's the only one trying to make other people look bad. right? okay maybe some might say this idea is stupid, but i think its the right thing to do.

Okay why do these girl do these things? and why are they bitchy? here are some that i have learnt before:

1. The Other girl has more or is more privileged than her.
    eg. The girl has more money, or perhaps has a better lifestyle, maybe has a better boyfriend and better clothes. Face the reality, just because they have more "expensive" things doesnt mean you have any less. You have a loving family and a whole lot of friends and dont tell me you dont have clothes on your backs because you might be the only homeless person with internet access right now. okay just kidding(or not).

2. The other girl looks better or is more confident with her looks.
     eg. Lets face it, we all have a little green goblin inside us(ok this is childish but it works) that gets all jealous when a hotter, prettier or maybe sweeter girl than us walks past by, but by backlashing the person is a bad thing to do. Just be her friend and perhaps you'll see that you guys are actually very in common, both beautiful girls.

3. The other girl gets everything she wants and they dont.
     eg. Her boyfriend gives her flowers takes her to expensive restaurants while yours doesnt. Come on, take a look back in the past,your boyfriend might not take you to these places or do things out of the movie screens but still he must have done something you loved to make you stay so long with him, right?

4. The other girl is trusted more than they are.
     eg. this happens alot when working in a group, and they want to do alot of things alone and basically be the teachers pet. They always want to be in the spotlight, so when another girl gets the most attention they would bitch bad things about her. What i see is that they sometimes dont understand that work is given evenly, and if a person doesnt trust you with things that might mean that you've done something to make them think otherwise.

5. The other girl is no longer her friend perhaps she left the poor girl or the girl just left her.
     eg. okay this thing works in two ways, one you might do something that irritates her or she found out you say bad things behind her back or other things and leaves you, not talk to you anymore and doesnt reply to your calls(if she has kredit). Or maybe you dont like the person anymore, the girl might not be a favorite in the group and is left out and you abandon her too eventhough she has helped you through alot. ooohhh... this means your a major bitch! this is a no.. no.. even if your friends dont approve of your bestfriend doesnt mean you have to leave them and bitch about them, just nod and dont say a word and keep her in contact. dont bitch about her and pretend to not know anything later.

Okay basically that is all that i could come up with right now, How do i know this? because once upon a time i might have felt the same and might have trusted these type of people and they go around and backstab me with their own words that they told was mine. I hate, hating people and I especially hate hating people I've known forever, so please!! If you are reading this, stop these stupid idiotic rumors, it makes you look stupid, immature, un-educated and of course you look like a lame sore looser! and lastly If you feel like telling someone about your problems or maybe you feel hurt because of someones irritating act,find just one person! one person you can trust, maybe your bestest friend? An Ustaz told me(In a talk of course), that women can tell their problems like these to their husbands and if she has a family problem choose someone close to you, preferably a woman in your family that you can trust, your mom? or perhaps a really close cousin? this is to ease your feelings and also to prevent Fitnah from occuring. Fitnah is not only things that are said that is not true, but also things that are said that we think is true. Come on, even if we think something is really true, and have seen it with our own eyes do we have the right to judge? do we even know why they do or say certain things? okay a quick last example, a woman is seen looking around the neighbours house and you're there and you see this and to you she's trying to peek inside to look perhaps to steal? but the truth is she's looking for the owner, she's peeking to see if she is home to ask for a favor. see? sometimes what you see might still deceive you. So lets not bitch, I'm practicing this myself and am trying to only say nice things about people.i regret sometimes making jokes about people because it could sound disrespectful if the person is there. So lets not be BITCHES, let us say just nice things (even without the person knowing).

eng: O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.

Bahasa Melayu :Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Jauhilah kebanyakan dari sangkaan (supaya kamu tidak menyangka sangkaan yang dilarang) kerana sesungguhnya sebahagian dari sangkaan itu adalah dosa dan janganlah kamu mengintip atau mencari-cari kesalahan dan keaiban orang dan janganlah setengah kamu mengumpat setengahnya yang lain. Adakah seseorang dari kamu suka memakan daging saudaranya yang telah mati? (Jika demikian keadaan mengumpat) maka sudah tentu kamu jijik kepadanya. (Oleh itu, patuhilah larangan-larangan yang tersebut) dan bertakwalah kamu kepada Allah; sesungguhnya Allah Penerima taubat, lagi Maha mengasihani.(Surah al-Hujurat, ayat 12)

Okay, that's all for now & please excuse me for the grammer mistakes and a whole lot of other things, I'm not an English Pro or anything. Until the next time(I promise to write more often).

Yours Sincerely,

Ave Whitlock.